Posts Tagged With: career

trying all the things

When you’re a stay-at-home-parent, there are many fun things you get to do, including, but not limited to: dishes, laundry, picking up garbage, vacuuming, talking to the cat, and messing with telemarketers. I love all of these things. Okay, except for the picking up garbage part. And the vacuuming. I have done/do do (ha! I said do do!) all of these things. But realistically, one cannot fill one’s day with these things without going crazy (to say nothing of one’s soul).

So, I do other stuff. I write think of things to write, I take photographs, I bake. I read what other people have written (sometimes). I knit, crochet, tackle start various projects (both creative and household-fixative) and walk. I spent at least five years volunteering at BoyGenius’ school, for both regular programs and special events (I’ve even got my name on a plaque in the school trophy case). Over the last couple of years, though, I’ve begun to question just what it is that I’m doing with my life.

Sure, I’m raising what will hopefully be a fully cooked adult one day. Although I’m not really sure I’ve gotten to that stage yet and I’m pretty sure no one is raising me anymore. But what else am I doing? I can tell you what I’m not doing. I’m not saving the world. I’m not traveling the world. I’m not selling out shows in Vegas. I’m not winning the Master Chef competition. I’m not sleeping well. I’m not losing weight. I’m not experiencing more than 3 good-hair-days in a row. I’m not really getting any of the shit done that’s on any one of a myriad of to-do lists.

I’m trying. I’m trying to figure out what I’m doing right and do more of it. I’m trying to eat better, even with two living, breathing obstacles in my way. I’m trying to get fitter, stronger (not to lose weight, per se, more to have something to do) — and as such I started walking after my knee surgery last year, I started working out with a personal trainer twice (sometimes only once) a week, and more recently I started seeing a massage therapist and taking yoga. [Let’s be clear … over the winter I didn’t walk much since it’s cold and icy, and I haven’t really gotten back into it yet … but I did recently get new shoes, so there’s that.] I tried taking a neighbourhood dog for walks every day (until her owners realized that even my ridiculously low rates were too much for them). I’m trying scrubbing the bathroom ceiling, because mould, y’all. I have spent a number of hours trying to rid my kitchen (and presumably my house) of carpenter ants. I’m trying getting paid for some of the time I spend at BoyGenius’ school (meet the new Lunch Supervisor). I tried having a best friend for a few years .. it worked out well, until all of a sudden it didn’t; I’m now trying to get used to not having one again. I’m trying to get out some … so yoga. And I also tried a “Paint Night” at my local pub — that was fun.

I’m not sure what else I can do … yes, yes, I can clean out my basement, I know. BoyGenius’ last day of Grade 5 is tomorrow and then I’ve got 2 months of limbo stretching in front of me. Here’s hoping I can figure some things out. And by the way, I’ve got LOTS to say about yoga.

Categories: friendship, parenting, Sleep, words | Tags: , , , , , , | 4 Comments

in his blood?

So BoyGenius had his 8 year annual check-up at the pediatrician’s yesterday.  Both the nurse and our doctor seemed shocked that they hadn’t seen us in a year.  Then doc checked BG’s file and realised that it’s been that way since he was about 3 years old.  He had a three week cough once back then — and since then we only go once a year. Oh don’t get me wrong, we’ve been to the walk-in clinic a couple of times (seriously, a couple) and the ER four times since BoyGenius was a baby (two of those times for a broken left arm .. two separate playground incidents), but other than that, the kid’s fairly healthy. 🙂

Apparently, one of the things that happens at an annual check-up when you’re 8 years old is that the doctor asks you what you want to do when you grow up; you’re not allowed to say “I don’t know,” you have to be able to formulate some idea. HardWorker and I (and other people) have asked BG a few times over the years what he might like to be when he grows up and the most we ever got out of him is “a Rescue Hero!” … and that means Billy Blazes or Jack Hammer, not an actual firefighter or police officer. So Dr. Larry asks BG what he wants to do when he grows up and here’s what happens: BoyGenius thinks for a bit, not like he’s trying to come up with something, but like he’s actually given it some thought before and is just recalling it, and says very matter-of-factly, “a builder.”  “Hmm ..,” says Dr. Larry then asks “what kind of builder .. like homes or a ship or boat builder?”  “Airplanes,” says BoyGenius and smiles. He smiles.

Airplanes. I smile. See, I don’t think BG knows how amazing that answer is. He does know that he has a cousin who is a pilot for a major european airline. However …. I don’t believe he remembers being told that his Opa was a glider pilot. I don’t think he remembers that his uncle BlueEyes was a flight attendant for many, many years.  He has no concept of me actually working, so he doesn’t know that I spent 15 years in the travel industry, doing all manner of things related to air travel: booking, ticketing, contracting, sales & groups sales, planning and analysis. He has no idea that he has a cousin who is an aviation engineer and works for Airbus … building airplanes. ♥

Categories: family | Tags: , , , , | 1 Comment

have you found your thing?

I do a lot of things. I’m a dabbler. I love a lot of things but I don’t think I’ve found my thing yet.

How many of you are doing what you love? What do you do when even doing what you love wears you down or starts feeling like a chore? How do you find that thing you love so that you can do it?

There are wise people who say you should find your passion and make that your work. That way you will be doing what you love to do and making a living at it. How many people does that actually happen for? First off, what if you can’t find your passion? What if, even if you have one, you can’t find a way for it to help you survive: buy food, pay bills, contribute to the rent/mortgage?

Whenever I have to contribute to the “about” section on any thing I sign up for I never really know what to say.  I am a stay-at-home-mother to one son. That’s about as far as I get. I love to cook (sometimes). I love to bake (sometimes). I really do love doing laundry, as hard as it may be for people to believe that. I love taking pictures. I love reading. I love words. I love music. I love to travel. I love to garden (sometimes). I love children, animals, trees, hearts, flowers, seashells, the ocean, clouds, Lego and the harmonica — to name just a few things.

So, I love all those things. I’m at least a little bit good at a lot of things. I guess I could say I am a good cook. I’m good at baking. I am good at laundry. I catch the odd perfect shot on film or flashcard. I read well. I can do a lot of things. But so what? I have people tell me I should be a writer, I should be a photographer, I should be a teacher. Well, guess what? I am all those things, just not professionally. I don’t think I have any sellable stories inside of me. Every consumer with a camera phone now believes they are a photographer, and I know how hard it is to be a professional. I love children but I know I don’t have the patience to be a teacher.

I’m a parent. I love it (most times). I just don’t know if I’m any good at it. I’m not a very good housewife. I’m not even a very good spouse. Parent? Who knows. Is my son happy? He says yes. He says I’m a good mom and there isn’t anyone else he’d rather have as a mom. Is that good enough for me? I guess so.

Maybe I have found my thing.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | 10 Comments

Here we go!

So I think there isn’t any better way to get started than just to jump right in.

So here it comes:  I don’t know if any of the rest of you have noticed this, but stay-at-home-mothers have hours during the day that they spend alone … well, with their sprog, but sans other grownups.  It starts early on.  Spouses/partner/significant others often take some time off when the newborn arrives but soon enough you’re on your own.  It’s all good during that first year of maternity/parental leave (that’s what we get here in the great white north) but once you’ve made that decision not to go back to work … as I said, you’re on your own.

Don’t get me wrong, I went into this with my eyes open.  I chose to stay at home.  It made sense.  My dear partner didn’t have the baby, I did.  My dp wasn’t ever sure she wanted a baby, I was.  My dp had a good job that she loved, almost a career, really … I had a job that was okay, but never felt like it was a career (although that’s what the boss wanted us to feel).  HardWorker’s job paid more than mine and so it made sense to both of us for me to stay home with BoyGenius.  We didn’t want to have to pay to leave him with some non-family member from 7 am ’til 7 pm every weekday just so I could clear about $200 a month.  Aside from that, it just wasn’t what having a baby was about for me.  Having a baby was about having a baby and spending time with the cutest bundle joy imaginable.  So that’s what I did … and still do.  BoyGenius will be 8 this year.  I’m still at home.

Categories: family | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

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