what goes without saying?

“Well, that goes without saying.”

No, it doesn’t. It shouldn’t. As long as it isn’t hurtful, say it.

If you need to stand up for yourself, do it. Say it. If you see injustice being done, say so. If you love someone, tell them. If your neighbour has a really nice garden, let her know.

Your child’s teacher helped make grade 2 a fantastic year? … Tell that teacher. Hell, tell the principal! I did. I told the principal how I felt and I gave the teacher a copy of the parts of the letter that pertained to her. She needed to know how grateful I was, how happy I was, how happy BoyGenius was with his grade 2 experience. Telling her made her feel great, brought tears to her eyes and let her know that she really is doing it right.

People don’t know things unless you tell them. Good things and bad things. We usually don’t have much trouble telling people what we don’t like about what they’re doing, how they drive, the way they dress. We seem to have a much harder time telling people what we do like about them. It’s not all our fault. Many of us don’t know how to react when given a compliment. We brush it off, say something self-deprecating or tell the person praising us that they must be blind or crazy or something like that. I once had the occasion, after an afternoon and evening spent with a few friends and about 17 of our kids, to send all the moms an e-mail telling them that I had had a great time and that I loved all of their children. We had spent about five hours in one friend’s home, with 17 children ranging in age from 4 to 9 years, without once having to raise our voices or discipline anyone. Those kids were great! Every single response I got accused me of being drunk; not a one was able to just agree and say thanks.

If you are concerned about a friend’s stress level ask them to go for a walk with you and tell them you’re worried. They might give you the “I’m fine” answer or they might be so glad that someone noticed and cared enough to be concerned that they’ll walk and talk and get some things off their chest. It might not seem like much but it might be enough to let them get some respite from their struggles.

Think you’ve got the best paperboy in town? Tell him. Give him a tip. Is he someone from your neighbourhood? Tell his mom you think she’s done a great job raising a fantastic kid. When you meet someone and you think they have a fabulous smile or amazing eyes, tell them; even if it’s the guy behind the counter at the community centre. You might make a new friend or maybe you’ll just make someone feel like a million bucks. Either way, it’s a good thing.

If you buy a product and it has a problem, let the manufacturer know. You don’t have to be angry about it. Just point out to them that you’re disappointed and let them know what the issue is. Nine times out of ten, they will be apologetic and find some way to compensate you. Companies need to know if there is a problem with their manufacturing, with their quality control or with their shipping. (This is especially true for food products.)

You’ve seen it in movies, on tv; you’ve read it in books; maybe you have experienced it in real life: that goes without saying.

“Honey, did you enjoy dinner?” “Are you proud of me, mom?” “Do you love me?”

If they have to ask you, they don’t know. If they don’t know ….. it obviously doesn’t go without saying.

Fatboy Slim had it right all along … “I have to praise you like I should.”

Categories: words | Tags: , , , , , , | 9 Comments

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9 thoughts on “what goes without saying?

  1. Running from Hell with El

    Awesome, awesome awesome points above.

  2. Wonderful!!!

    I suspect we all forget to tell people in our lives how great we think they are, how good of a job they are doing. Thank you for the reminder.

    • Thank you. I think it is hard to remember to do this, often because we are so concerned with our own abilities and worried that we ourselves aren’t doing a good enough job.

  3. I love every single word that you wrote here. Every single one.

    What an honest, authentic, heartfelt reminder and truth.

    {You’re so very right – we just need to say what’s on our minds. How *is* anyone supposed to know?}

    Love this, so much!

  4. Such a good reminder. My son actually asked me other day, “Do you love me?” Yikes–if he needs to hear then by God, I’ll SAY it more.

    • Mine used to reply to my “I love you”s with a standard “I know.” Now he usually just smiles.

      Today I actually drove him nuts by telling him about 85 times between 1 and 4pm. 🙂

  5. People don’t know things unless you tell them.
    It seems so evident put this way, but it’s not evident. A dozen times a day, I have to remind myself to move from thinking a thing to saying it, and that’s even as one who’s always advocated others to speak up since no one is telepathic!

    I love this blog, and I concur.

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