ode to a bottle …

.. and a stick and a tube.  (So not what you are/were thinking!)

With a nod to Simon & Garfunkle, may I present the following for your singing/imagining pleasure:

Hello Spray’n’Wash my old friend, I’ve come to beg you once again; like your bottle all his jeans are green, all I ask is that you get them clean, while the seeds that have sprouted in the lawns, with springtime’s dawns .. become the fields of summer.

So, it’s springtime — and a young boy’s fancy turns to … to … rolling down hills! … sliding across the lawn like it was a broadway stage and he was in the chorus line! … diving to make that soccer save! Last night I did one load of laundry: 8 pair of little boy jeans, 1 pair of little boy track pants and 1 pair of little boy athletic pants.

the big three

It took me 27 minutes to pre-treat the knees, legs, hems, cuffs, back pockets and seams of the jeans. There was oxygenated stain removing powder in the laundry tub. I rubbed spray’n’wash liquid, oxi-clean gel and bio-kleen …  stuff on every bit of green I could find. I used detergent with additional zout stain remover. I filled the tub with hot water. The washer was on the 14 minute strong agitation setting. I waited, fingers crossed.

I have to admit, getting these knees clean will not be an easy task for any detergent or stain remover. They actually have what looks like a vinyl coating over the entire front of that section of pant leg. Seriously. Which wouldn’t be a bad thing if I could peel the green off like a layer that has been ironed on. I never knew grass could be so shiny. My mother always got our grass stains out. I have always been able to get BoyGenius’ grass stains out. Heck, I pride myself on my stain removal abilities. Even among his baby clothes, BoyGenius only had one outfit/shirt that had to be given up on. It didn’t matter if it was the orange of carrots or sweet potatoes or the green of broccoli or brussel sprouts (yes, he ate all those things … I’m a sahm, remember?), his clothes — with that one exception — came out clean every time. I can get mud and tree buds out. Chocolate pudding. Rib sauce. Rust. Automotive grease. Mayo. Whatever it is I can get it out. I can handle this. I’ve got it under control. I am in charge. I am good enough. I am strong enough. And gosh darn it I will not be beaten by grass!

Dammit. Dammit. 7 x dammit!  Only one pair of jeans actually look clean. Screw it. They’re going to look exactly the same next week. I’ll just tell people they’re organic jeans.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | 1 Comment

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One thought on “ode to a bottle …

  1. Pam

    They’re just jeans, and he is a boy. Let it go, mama. Spend your energy on things that matter more!

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